Writer’s Block

This is a confession.
I am the worst kind of writer.

At least, that is what I believed during a severe bout of writer’s block last year. Writer’s block forced the pen out of my hand, rendering me wordless and full of confusion. I questioned my talent, resolve, and ability. I considered abandoning my dream.

I am not alone. Every writer experiences writer’s block, at some point, because it is borne out of a basic human frailty.

Self-doubt…  that screaming, inner-voice that tries to convince you to give up. It’s too hard. You’re not meant for this. You’re not talented enough.

Don’t believe a word of it. Fight the battle. Tell yourself the truth. Get ink on the page. It is a battle that can be won.

photo 2

It’s my cat’s fault, of course.

Below is an excerpt from my journal during my bout of writer’s block. Written during a private moment of reflection, it is raw with despair and hope. I offer this intimate look into my writing life to encourage you. You are not alone. The words will come. Don’t give up your pen.

I am the worst kind of writer.
There. I said it first. I’ve been found out, but not because of a critique or observation from a reader in passing. I’ve been found out because I stepped away from the concealing shadows and admitted it.

I am the worst king of writer because…. I’m not writing!
I profess to love the craft. Yet, I do not write.
I have hundreds of little people running around my head, waiting to tell their stories to young ears. Yet, I do not write.
I fret. I moan. I complain about not writing.

What is this war between words and pride that wages within my mind? A war in which doubt slays creativity and fear kills determination? There is a land I was given, a place to call my own, but the road is strewn with the bloody remains of inspiration, wonder, belief, and calling.

“Get up!” I say. “Fight this battle, for I do not want to live in the land of fear and regret.”

Yes. I am the worst kind of writer. I wake each morning with a steadfast resolve to write, only to succumb to the distractions and imposed urgencies of others.
I am a writer who tries to write final drafts at the first go, in fear of being found out to be a poor writer.
I am a writer who writes lists and organizational plans in order to write efficiently and effectively, but doesn’t use the plans to actually write.
I am the worst kind of writer because I torture myself with the dreams of having written. I run my fingers along the spines of books borne of similar dreams.
I look at them with awe and wonder and longing. And yet, I do not write.

Yes. I am the worst kind of writer.
But there, in that admission, I find my first glimmer of hope.

I called myself a writer.
Not a “wanna be writer”.
Not “someone who writes, but isn’t published”. 

I called myself a writer.

That is who I am and who I have always been. Even if I am the worst kind, it is a beginning.

I am a writer- the worst kind of writer- but I am growing and putting a bit of ink on the page and perhaps someday, I will become a better kind of writer.

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS BELOW.  Have you ever battled writer’s block? What strategies worked for you?


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3 thoughts on “Writer’s Block

  1. I try to leave the house, stay away from my computer, empty my mind of all the worries, and, usually, I come back with a new idea. Great post, Michelle! And, just so you know… You are a great writer! Happy writing!

  2. I am not a writer, but do graphics ,but find as my late hubby,and Ana Crespo say take a break, you will get brighter, better ideas, hope not like me while sleeping and wake up 3 a.m. And head for computer. Best ideas I have come up with,when least expected,
    Best of luck you are always in my prayers, wonderful woman… My friend!
    You shall succeed.

  3. I must say… I still have the same feelings you have about my writing. Yes even after over 35 published PB…
    It’s always a new beginning, a new challenge…
    Just don’t think too much ! 🙂

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