Dear Sisters in Christ,

I thank God for the work of your hands. You shepherd, teach, admonish, and encourage. You serve as a faithful witness and in doing so, change women’s lives through the love of Christ.

I’d like to introduce you to a woman I hold dear, one whose story is like my own. She may appear guarded when you first meet, but I assure you, she is in desperate need of your grace. She is the woman who sits in front of you in church, with arms wrapped around her children. She stands behind you in the check-out line, fumbling for change as her baby cries. She is your neighbor, your friend, your sister, your co-worker. But most often, she is the woman with averted eyes, whose story remains unchanged unless someone reaches out to her.

She is the single mother.

I understand your hesitation. With over 10 million single mothers, the task seems overwhelming. Perhaps you worry that ministry to single mothers glorifies divorce. Maybe you feel ill-equipped to minister to a woman whose story is markedly different from yours or to women who are not as far along in their healing.

I urge you to reach out to her. Jesus did. He sought out the woman at the well. He prevented the adulterous woman from being stoned to death. He allowed a sinful woman to wash His feet with tears. He came to heal the brokenhearted. My broken heart.

I was that single mother in church with arms wrapped around my girls. A man in front of us held his wife close as the pastor spoke about the sanctity of marriage…

“Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church…”

“A cord of three strands is not easily broken…”

My oldest daughter looked up at me, helpless in her knowing. Shame fell from my eyes, leaving their watery mark on the pages of my bible. The church, with its four walls, cross, and intact families, increasingly became a house of mirrors, reflecting our isolation and brokenness. In my unseen pain, I found reason to attend less and less. 

A woman’s leader, like yourself, pulled me back within the protective folds of the church. She had no experience as a single mother. She did not offer financial assistance, food, legal counsel, or a 10-step plan for successful single-parenting. She simply listened. She listened as I poured out my story, in all its shame and wretched truth. She listened to my worry, regret, longing, and doubt. She wrapped her arms around me and spoke of God’s love, presence, and forgiveness.

And in that moment, she became the Church as God intended. 

Be encouraged. You are the hands and feet of Christ to the single mother, fully equipped to offer grace and hope. Perhaps the Holy Spirit brings to mind a specific woman. Reach out to her. Listen to her story and offer full assurance of God’s faithfulness. Let her know she is loved. Seen. Heard. Beheld. 

Tell her she is not alone.

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:
to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” 
-James 1:27

With joy and gratitude,

l

Your Story:

What does your church or community do to include single parents and their children? If this is not happening, what is one thing you can implement to create a welcoming culture?
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